I can't even begin to imagine this...the joy of finding out you are pregnant, then the excitement of discovering if you are having a boy or a girl, and in the midst of finding out the joy of having a boy, the doctors tell you that your baby has a CHD. So many thoughts, emotions, fears, worries, joys, questions came during the pregnancy...the joys of preparing for your precious baby...the anticipation of his arrival...
What a joyfilled day when he was born! Then the fight for his life began. My prayers for Ewan and his parents increased. The day after his birth, my pastor preached about God's sovereignty...it ministered to me and it has been what I have clung to the past few weeks. I do not understand God's ways, but I know He has a plan and that He is trustworthy. In my humanness, this isn't fair. This isn't how it is supposed to be. Ewan was supposed to go home with his mommy and daddy. Why did God purposefully permit or allow this to happen? Why didn't He heal Ewan's heart? Why didn't He miraculously heal him?
I know God is using this in my life to increase my faith and my trust in Him. When I am struggling with these questions, I take them to God and pour out my heart to Him. I know He hears me and I know He is answering my questions. I have cried many tears and my heart is aching and breaking for Kirsten and James. As I am writing this, Kirsten and James are at the church remembering and celebrating the life of their precious baby. I am praying for peace, comfort and love to surround them. My prayers have not stopped and will not stop for you, Kirsten and James.
You are deeply and immensely loved by God. I know He chose the right parents to entrust His child, Ewan to you. I love you and am praying for you!
