Reflections of 2010

WOW! What a year it has been! In January I met up with a good friend, Kirsten, from college and her husband, James Petermann. We had a great time catching up on each others' lives. More on these precious friends in a short bit!

I thought this year would be just like any other...hanging out with friends and family doing the usual...going to movies, out to eat, and myriads of other fun and fabulous things. While I still did all of the "usual" things, somethings happened this year that totally rocked my world!

First, one of my former Sunday school students, started having extreme muscle weakness and in April was admitted to children's hospital for further testing. I went down to visit him and was able to pray with/for him. He was in the hospital for a few days and then was able to go home. It took about a month for the doctors to figure out what the issue was. In May he was diagnosed with LEMS...a very rare disease, and even more rare in children. Well, ever since I found out he was "sick" I have been crying out to God, more than I think I ever had before. I have been praying for his complete healing, praying for increased strength and for his weight gain, among many other things. I know that God hears my every prayer and is answering me, I was hoping it would be sooner than later that He would do a huge miracle and completely heal my friend. Then I read the following quote that his mom posted...

"There are times I can relate to Mary who “hid these things in her heart.” Reflection comes readily on this journey and today’s encounter reminded me of an earlier post regarding an “all or nothing” view of praying where John Piper asks, “In praying for healing should we not be encouraged to break the ‘all or nothing’ habit and pray that today something powerful be done by God in the body of our loved one? And tomorrow something more? And the next day something more? If Jesus touched a man twice, should we not expect to touch the sick often before they are healed?”

“I am finding it helpful to see my prayers as God’s appointed injections of his healing power. And like many antibiotics, the dosage (of prayer) must be continued over time. Each prayer makes its contribution. An antibiotic pill is not an ‘all or nothing’ treatment. You keep on taking them ‘till the bottle is empty. And each prayer carries a measure of divine power—sometimes more, sometimes less, but always effecting ‘something’ good if prayed in faith.”

“So don’t let an ‘all or nothing’ mentality impede your perseverance. Pray for total healing and total salvation. But don’t prejudge God’s timing. Until the total work is done keep praying that God do ‘something’ today to help, and believe that he will. Always pray and don’t lose heart.” (The "All or Nothing" Impediment to Prayer, Piper)"

This spoke to me and shifted my focus to look for all God is doing and has done and not be so focused on what I wished He would do.

Second, my dear, sweet friends Kirsten and James found out that they were expecting their first child due in September. I was overjoyed for them! When they went for the ultrasound to find out if they were having a boy or a girl, they found out something they were not expecting. They found out that their sweet boy would be born with a rare CHD. While their precious babe was being formed in her womb, I was crying out to God that He would heal and fix his broken heart so that he could be born healthy. God answered my prayer, but He did not choose to heal his heart. Precious Ewan was born on September 18, 2010...days later he had open heart surgery. The problems were too much for his body to handle...so after a lot of prayer, one of the toughest decisions was made...Ewan was loving held by his mommy and daddy for his last hours of life and is now in the arms of Jesus. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to loose a child, especially an infant...my heart has been crying out to God in prayers for them daily.

I have cried many, many tears for my precious friends and their families. God has stretched me and increased my faith and trust in Him this year. While I can't say that I would choose those things to happen, I am glad that God allowed these situations to touch my heart and my life...I am forever changed and have become even more dependent upon Him as a result.

My prayers and cries to God will continue for these friends and for other situations that God brings into my life...I do not want to forget how God uses hard times and challenges to draw me closer to Him. To increase my realization of just how much I need Him every moment of every day.

So as I think back over 2010, I am thankful for everything God caused or allowed...all of the fun I have had with my friends and family, as well as all of the struggles. God is good and has been faithful. I know He will not disappoint me in 2011!

Thankful Heart

I have so much to be thankful for, my heart is overflowing with gratitude and joy!

I am eternally thankful for my relationship with Jesus. He has not only saved me from my sins but has freed me from them and has filled me with joy!

I am extremely blessed with an amazing, loving, fun, wonderful family!

My parents are loving, generous, encouraging, always there when I need them.

My sister is one of my best friends. She is thoughtful, kind, fun, a great listener and a joy to be around.

My brother-in-law is the brother I have always wanted! He is a lot of fun, he is kind and helpful!

My niece K has grown into a beautiful young lady. I can't believe she is 10 years old already! She is loving, fun, kind. She has a sweet and tender heart. She is an amazing volleyball player. I love her SO much!

My nephew R is a bundle of fun! He makes me laugh and I love to watch him love life! He is adventurous. He is a great brother and friend!

My nephew D brings me great joy! He is a bundle of energy and a lot of fun! When he gives me a hug, there is SO much love that comes with it. Long after the hug is over I can still feel the love.

I am thankful for each and every one of my friends! I know I can count on my friends for support, encouragement, prayer, laughs, fun, joy, and whatever I need in the moment.

I am thankful for all God has done in my life. I am thankful for the good times and all the many blessings as well as the hard times, the difficult times, the challenges and struggles that have stretched me and my faith.

I am thankful for my home and for my wonderful roomie, Diane! I am blessed to live with one of my best friends and right next door to another one of my best friends. I am thankful for the roof over my head, the food I have to eat and everything else God has given me that I need to live and for everything "extra" that He gives me.

I am thankful for my job...for the wonderful staff I work with, for the students I teach and their families.

I could write more of all I have been blessed with and I want to continue to remember all of my blessings each and every day. I want to live a life of gratitude, not just a season.

What are you thankful for?

My Musings

I have been pondering and musing on "healing" and "God's healing" a lot the last few days. I know God heals...the Bible says He is our healer. But what have been on my mind and in my heart are questions...why is it that God heals some quickly, others it seems to take a long time? why are some healed here on Earth, and others are healed when they pass from this world into heaven? I know God's timing and His will, plans and purposes are perfect. God is sovereign and He is glorified in all He does.

In my humanness I want the healing to come instantly. When I pray many times for a friend (or myself) who is sick or has a disease and they still are sick, I know God has heard me. I know He is answering. I know He is working and healing. I have faith and trust God and His timing. It is just not always easy. "I believe, help me in my unbelief."

I want to share something I read, posted by my dear friend, Beck Hofseth, whose son, Daniel is fighting LEMS. I have written about him before and I am continually praying for him and his family. He was diagnosed with LEMS in April of 2010. I used to get frustrated and wonder what God was doing...what He was waiting for...why He hadn't healed Daniel...then I read the following post by Becky and it totally changed my perspective...

"I continue to read on the subject of healing. Last night’s reading brought new light on the story of Jesus healing the blind man. With it came the reminder to avoid an “all or nothing” view of praying. Piper writes, “One time Jesus took a blind man out of town, touched his eyes and asked, ‘Do you see anything?’ Imagine that! He said, ‘anything,’ not ‘everything’? And in fact, the man could not see everything. He said, ‘I see men, for I see them like trees walking about.’ So Jesus touched him again. And Mark 8:25 says, ‘He was restored and began to see everything clearly.’”

Piper asks, “In praying for healing should we not be encouraged to break the ‘all or nothing’ habit and pray that today something powerful be done by God in the body of our loved one? And tomorrow something more? And the next day something more? If Jesus touched a man twice, should we not expect to touch the sick often before they are healed?”

“I am finding it helpful to see my prayers as God’s appointed injections of his healing power. And like many antibiotics, the dosage (of prayer) must be continued over time. Each prayer makes its contribution. An antibiotic pill is not an ‘all or nothing’ treatment. You keep on taking them ‘till the bottle is empty. And each prayer carries a measure of divine power—sometimes more, sometimes less, but always effecting ‘something’ good if prayed in faith.”

“So don’t let an ‘all or nothing’ mentality impede your perseverance. Pray for total healing and total salvation. But don’t prejudge God’s timing. Until the total work is done keep praying that God do ‘something’ today to help, and believe that he will. Always pray and don’t lose heart.” (The "All or Nothing" Impediment to Prayer, Piper)

This brought me great comfort and hope and helped me to focus my prayers and my heart to look for how God was working and had already worked. I need to keep my focus on all God is and has done in every thing I pray about, including healing. My search and study on healing has just begun and I will be sharing more of what I am learning...

In Everything Give Thanks

I decided to spend this month focusing on being thankful...it is easy to be thankful when things are going good and I really do have many amazing blessings to be thankful for. What God has impressed upon me is being thankful when things are not going good...am I thankful when I feel sick or am in pain? am I thankful when the day is chaotic and doesn't go as I had planned? am I thankful when things cause me to be sad or disappointed? it is not easy and it is not my first thought to be thankful that "this" is happening. but what I am learning to do is to ask God what He wants to teach me or show me in "this" and then it is easier to be thankful for it. this is a process and a journey that He has me on. it is not an overnight thing. I am not immediately thankful, but am growing in my thankfulness.

Thank you, God, for helping me and teaching me how to be thankful in all things!

In loving memory of Ewan Eliezer

I have been praying a lot for my friends Kirsten and James and their precious baby, Ewan Eliezer. Ewan was born on September 18, 2010. He was born with a rare CHD, Tetralogy of Fallot. He had a couple of heart surgeries and various procedures done to save his life. He fought hard and was a fierce warrior. I prayed hard for him and his mommy and daddy daily. On October 4, 2010 his mom and dad made the toughest decision of their lives...Ewan Eliezer is now in Heaven, in Jesus' loving arms.

I can't even begin to imagine this...the joy of finding out you are pregnant, then the excitement of discovering if you are having a boy or a girl, and in the midst of finding out the joy of having a boy, the doctors tell you that your baby has a CHD. So many thoughts, emotions, fears, worries, joys, questions came during the pregnancy...the joys of preparing for your precious baby...the anticipation of his arrival...

What a joyfilled day when he was born! Then the fight for his life began. My prayers for Ewan and his parents increased. The day after his birth, my pastor preached about God's sovereignty...it ministered to me and it has been what I have clung to the past few weeks. I do not understand God's ways, but I know He has a plan and that He is trustworthy. In my humanness, this isn't fair. This isn't how it is supposed to be. Ewan was supposed to go home with his mommy and daddy. Why did God purposefully permit or allow this to happen? Why didn't He heal Ewan's heart? Why didn't He miraculously heal him?

I know God is using this in my life to increase my faith and my trust in Him. When I am struggling with these questions, I take them to God and pour out my heart to Him. I know He hears me and I know He is answering my questions. I have cried many tears and my heart is aching and breaking for Kirsten and James. As I am writing this, Kirsten and James are at the church remembering and celebrating the life of their precious baby. I am praying for peace, comfort and love to surround them. My prayers have not stopped and will not stop for you, Kirsten and James.

You are deeply and immensely loved by God. I know He chose the right parents to entrust His child, Ewan to you. I love you and am praying for you!

God is with me

I should be sleeping right now but I have so many thoughts and emotions swirling around in my brain. I thought if I wrote about them, it would help me sort through it and sleep better. I hope I don't ramble too much and what I write makes sense, if not, please forgive me! ;)

The past week or so I have been praying hard for baby Ewan and his parents Kirsten and James. Ewan was born with a serious and rare CHD, Tetralogy of Fallot. He has had a couple of surgeries already in his first 2 weeks of life. His lungs have had issues and his sat levels and other things have gone up and down. While I know God is sovereign in this and He is in complete control and is trustworthy in all of this, it is hard...so many questions enter my mind...why is this happening? when will this end? but I keep reminding myself of all that God has done in Ewan's life, his mommy and daddy's life, and in the lives of all who are praying. God is a powerful, amazing, miraculous God. He knows what He is doing.

Please join me in praying for this precious babe and for his parents. If you want to know more and to follow this precious family please check out Team Ewan on Facebook or www.team-ewan.com

I love how God uses music to touch my heart...the song "Light up the sky" by The Afters was playing on the radio as I was driving home tonight. The sky had been filled with lightning and was an awesome display of God and His power...as the song was playing, I thought of my friends Kirsten and James and their precious baby Ewan. Tears welled up in my eyes...I am so thankful for how God used this song to minister to me tonight...

"When I'm feeling all alone With so far to go The signs are no where on this road Guiding me home When the night is closing in Is falling on my skin Oh God will You come close?

(Chorus) Light light light up the sky You light up the sky To show me You are with me I I I can't deny No I can't deny that You are right here with me You've opened my eyes So I can see You all around me Light light light up the sky You light up the sky to show me That You are with me

When stars are hiding in the clouds I don't feel them shining When I can't see You beyond my doubt The silver lining When I've almost reached the end Like a flood You're rushing in Your love is rushing in

(Chorus)

So I run straight into Your arms You're the bright and morning sun To show Your love there's nothing You won't do

(Chorus)

That You are with me That You are with me"

God, I am SO thankful that You are with me, all the time, no matter what! I am also SO thankful that You are continually with Kirsten, James, and Ewan...Your love is amazing!

The Wonder of God's Sovereignty

My pastor, Joe Rhodes, gave an amazing sermon on Sunday, September 19, 2010.

This sermon came at the perfect time for me...I have been praying hard for a couple of my friends who have challenging things they are facing. I pray and I pray and I know God hears and is answering, but they are not always the answers I had hoped for or in the time I wanted them to be. BUT, God is sovereign and He knows what He is doing and I can trust Him in it all.

Sovereignty: The supreme authority of God over all things.

2 Chronicles 20:6; 1 Chronicles 29:11-12; Psalm 103:19; Psalm 135:6

Premise:

God is either actively causing or purposefully permitting everything that comes into my life.

Everything has a purpose.

Job; 2 Corinthians 12:7; Luke 22:31-32

All people are not independent agents, but are instruments of God in my life.

Genesis 50:20

Personal Application

1. Work through negative emotions.

2. View every situation through eyes of faith.

2 Corinthians 4:18

3. Worship God in everything!

4. Be thankful and rejoice in everything!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Be honest with God and choose to rejoice and celebrate God in it.

I am so thankful that God spoke these words through my pastor. They have ministered to me every day and every moment since hearing them. To know that God has it all under His control and in His hands truly is, as my pastor says, "My pillow to rest upon"!

Happy Birthday to me!

It is almost my birthday and I thought I would tell you 39 random things about me! Enjoy learning a little more about me...

1. I was born in San Luis Obispo, CA and lived there til I was 10.

2. My middle name is Erin and there was a time in my life, I think around Jr. High or High School that I wanted to go by Erin. I was tired of having such a unique first name, with no one ever knowing how to spell it. Now I love it!

3. When I was little I used to pretend to be a teacher or a veterinarian...my sister and I would use our stuffed animals for patients and students. I wanted to be those when I grew up...and I am a teacher! I have taught preschool, kindergarten, and third grade. I am currently a preschool and kindergarten Montessori teacher. It is challenging and fun!

4. I had straight hair until 8th grade, then the curls hit! I was mad at my mom for giving me her curly hair, but over the years I have grown to like and mostly love my curly hair.

5. I have no clue how to drive a stick shift!

6. My favorite food is ice cream! When I was little I remember going to Thrifty's for a scoop of chocolate malted crunch... and it only cost 10 cents!

7. I have never had a bloody nose.

8. I can say and sing the alphabet backwards. I can also spell words backwards. Not sure when or why I started doing this, but I know I was a kid.

9. I took piano lessons for 6 years, and I wish I had taken them longer so I could play better.

10. I was in a movie. "Little Nikita" staring River Pheonix. I was in the marching band in 10th grade and our band was chosen to be in a parade scene. SO cool!

11. I have a dream to travel the world! I want to visit each country and continent...

12. I can count to 10 in 9 languages.

13. My favorite number is 13.

14. I went to Israel in 1996 on my first mission trip and I loved it!

15. I "competed" in my first triathlon in 2005...I had never done anything like it. training was intense and the triathlon was challenging. I did the best I could and when I felt like giving up, I turned to God and He gave me the strength to persevere and endure til the end.

16. I made the most important decision in my life on April 30, 1984...I asked Jesus to come into my life as my best friend and Saviour!

17. I love music ~ singing and listening, and occasionally playing it.

18. I went to speech therapy as a child. I had a bad stutter and I didn't pronounce a couple letters correctly. According to my mom, me and a few of my friends all mispronounced the same letters, hmmm... ;)

19. I wish I could speak another language fluently.

20. I have lived in 6 cities and in 9 different homes.

21. I have had 8 pets: 2 cats, 2 fish, a rat, a guinea pig, a hamster, and a tiny frog.

22. Some of my favorite movies are High School Musical 1, 2, and 3! ;)

23. I lived in an orphanage in Ukraine for 2 months, one each summer of 1999 and 2000. I loved daily being there to love on the precious princesses and princes of the King!

24. I love staying up late and then sleeping in! I have to force myself to go to bed early during the week so I am rested up for work, but I am really a night owl!

25. I have many nicknames ~ Shayson, Shaybug, Shay Shay, Shaybee, Ieshy Pooh, Bluejay, Shaymus, Other Airbag, to name a few!

26. I love children's books and I have a large collection of them!

27. I love the back to school section in stores...it makes me smile! :)

28. I am a professional bowler, on the Wii of course!

29. I correct others' grammar in my mind or if I see mistakes on paper. It is a habit that I hope never gets me into trouble! :)

30. I became an auntie for the first time 10 years ago...now I have a niece and two nephews...I love them SO much!

31. I love Disneyland!!! One of my favorite rides is Splash Mountain...I enjoy the big drop and getting wet!

32. I have been to London, Amsterdam, Ukraine, Lithuania, Norway, and Israel and I hope to travel to many more places in the world!

33. I have taught Sunday School since I was 12 years old, from the nursery up to Jr. High.

34. I do not like onions, bananas, or pepper!

35. My sister and I decided to build a swing inside our house out of jumpropes and a board. It was fun until it broke and my sister and I fell down. She escaped unharmed, I broke my left arm. Kids, do not try this at home! ;)

36. I have been a big sister for 36 years...I love my sissy, Shelby! She is an amazing, fabulous, wonderful and loving sister and I am truly blessed!

37. I have green eyes, just like my dad!

38. Sometimes, I wish life was like a musical and we would spontaneously burst into song to share our thoughts, feelings, or to just have fun!

39. I have the best friends and family in the world! I love you all so much and am blessed beyond belief!

Thank you God for all the things you have done in my life...I love you and am thankful You created me and gave me life!

I hope you enjoyed reading these tidbits about me! I saw this on my friend Jessica's blog and thought it was a great idea! Little did I know how hard it was going to be to come up with 39, but it was fun!

Freedom

I just read my friend Jessica's post about freedom...freedom from sin and living a life that is more Christ-like. True freedom is "Discovering one’s identity and purpose in Jesus and tearing down every stronghold that opposes walking in the fullness of that identity and purpose."

Her entire blog inspired me, ministered to me and convicted me (in a good way, or course!) I realized how content and complacent I have been in my walk with God, in confessing my sins and strongholds, and with my life in general. I know that I have areas in my life that I wish were different, but what I am doing to change things? I am taking it to God or am I sitting still, doing nothing? I will confess that most of the time I am not being active...I do pray and take my stand against the enemy and take back some of the territory I have given over to him, but there is way more battle I need to be fighting.

I do not want to allow another day to go by and not take action against my sin or be complacent in my intimacy with God. He is way to important to put off...I long to be SO hungry and thirsty for Him that N O T H I N G else will satisfy. I long to be even more free than I already am.

Lord, I need you to fill me up with You. Will you please give me a hunger, thirst and desire for more of You? I cannot do it on my own, I need you! Thank you for your forgiveness, mercy and grace. Amen!

Motivation and Perseverance

I just wanted to ask anyone who may read this post to please pray for me...I have a lot of Montessori assignments that need to be completed and I lack the motivation and desire to do them. I know I need to do them, but for some reason I keep hoping that they will magically complete themselves! :)

I have set up a schedule for myself to work on my assignments 2 evenings a week. I know this may not seem like much time, but I am trying to be realistic and not stress myself out. I know if I do a little at a time, that what is big and overwhelming will slowly become smaller and more manageable in my eyes.

Please pray that I can be diligent and not allow things to distract me and that I can get a lot done. Thank you SO much! :) I will keep you posted on how my progress is going! And you can ask me how my assignments are going and how I am doing at being faithful to this commitment!

Where does my help come from?

I have been searching the Scriptures lately to find some hope, strength, and encouragement as I continually pray for my friend Daniel and his family and for my friend Kirsten and her precious baby, who is yet to be born and has a serious CHD. God's Word has brought me much needed comfort and peace, but I am still left with many questions and I am still crying out for miracles.

I know God could change the health of my friends in an instant with the power of His words. Daniel and baby Ewan could be healed...but yet, they are not. I don't understand why. I know God hears when I pray. I know He answers. I know He is at work. I know all of this, and yet I struggle. How long, O Lord? When are they going to be healed? Why has this happened? What is your plan and purpose in all of this? I ask these questions and pour out my heart to God, most of the time through tears. I have faith and trust in His sovereignty, but I need Him to increase my faith and trust.

I want to share the Scripture references that have ministered to me in hopes that His Word will touch you and minister to you, too...

Verses on Healing (Health, wellness), Heal (make well, restore), Health (Soundness, wholeness):

Psalm 147:3; Ecclesiastes 3:3; Jeremiah 17:14; Matthew 8:16; James 5:16; Proverbs 3:8; Matthew 4:23; Hebrews 12:12-13

Verses on Trust (Confidence, hope) and Faith (believe, trust):

Psalm 146:5-10; Matthew 9:1-13; Romans 5:1-11; Romans 10:17; 2 Corinthians 5:7; Galatians 2:20; Ephesians 2:4-10; 1 Thessalonians 5:8; Hebrews 10:19-25; Hebrews 11:1,5-6; Hebrews 12:2; James 1:2-12; James 5:13-16; 1 Peter 1:3-9; Psalm 4; Psalm 56

Verses on Hope (expectation (noun), expect with confidence (verb)), Confidence (boldness, trust):

Psalm 9:18; Psalm 39:7; Psalm 71; Romans 5:1-11; Romans 12:9-21; Romans 15:13; 1 Peter 3:15; Psalm 38:15; 1 Corinthians 13:7; Matthew 12:21; Hebrews 11:1; Proverbs 3:26

There will be more Scriptures to come as I continue to seek Him for all I need in the midst of my struggles and heartache. I am thankful for all God has done in each of these situations...there are many praises and good things He has done, and I know there is much more to come! Thank you Lord for being in control! I am thankful for Your faithfulness and love!

If you want to know more about Daniel and his condition please visit: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=115050268521825

If you would like to know about precious baby Ewan, please visit:

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=123525424352083

Great Expectations

I have been praying so much for my friend Daniel over this past month...he has been experiencing muscle weakness, weight loss, difficulty breathing and swallowing and has been in the hospital a couple of times. He has been diagnosed with LEMS and has tried a couple of different things to help his condition. I have really been wrestling and struggling a lot with this. I know that God is sovereign and has a plan and purpose in all of this. But I have had a hard time believing it sometimes. How can this be good and what is best for him? Why wouldn't God choose to heal him? I was teaching Sunday school a couple of weeks ago and the theme of the lesson was "God wants the best for us"...as I sat down to prepare the lesson I was overwhelmed with emotions....how is Daniel's condition really what is best for him? I have been asking for more faith and more trust...I do not understand what God is doing and can only trust and have faith in Him, that is what gets me through each day and when I am feeling emotional.

My dad shared some verses with me and as I read them, they gave me strength and helped to increase my faith and trust...

"Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." Romans 5:1-6

"In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 1:6-7

I found this one as I was searching the Scriptures for some peace and comfort in the midst of my tears:

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position; and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away. Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:2-12

The following was a key verse from my Sunday school lesson:

"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

As I read this verse I kept thinking how could what Daniel has be a part of God's plan when it says that His plans are for welfare and not for calamity...how is LEMS not camality and how is it welfare? Then I have to remember that in God's eyes and in God's plan it is. In my humanness, I can't fathom how any of this is good. I know God has a plan and a purpose for all of this...so many wonderful things have come of this...I have drawn closer to God, clung to Him more than I ever have. I know others are being touched by this, also. I will not know all that will come as a result of this until eternity, but I must remember that God is good all the time and that He has Daniel in His loving arms.

God gives and takes away, but His name is blessed and worthy of praise. I am praying for and expecting miracles...I have to trust that His miracles are what is best. The miracle I am praying for is complete healing and restoration, that may or may not happen here on earth and I have to trust God to do His work. It isn't always easy and I have cried many tears over this. This is a journey God has me on and I am thankful for the work He is doing in me during this time.

If you would like to support Daniel in prayer, please see the following groups on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=115050268521825&ref=ts

and http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=126609167353986&ref=ts

Musings on The Book of John 1-3

My friend Carol Shlack posted a challenge on Facebook a while ago...read through the book of John and post verses and passages that stand out or speak to us. I decided to take on the challenge. While I was good at posting at first, life got busy and my postings fell to the wayside. So I decided to pick up my journal and write my thoughts and musings as I read through John.

I am about halfway through the book and decided to blog about all God has shown me...we will see how far I get in this post, with more to come!

John 1

John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us and we saw His glory"...I had never noticed the phrase "and we saw His glory" before. My church has a big focus on the glory of God...how cool it is that we can see His glory!

John 1:23 "He said, 'I am a voice of one crying in the wilderness, 'Make straight the way of the Lord,'...this was just a cool verse that stood out to me!

John 1:27 "It is He who comes after me, the thong of whose sandal I am not worthy to untie."...wow!

John 1:31, 33 John the Baptist is speaking, "I did not recognize Him"...I wonder what he means by this. Had he not seen Jesus in a long time or what was it that caused John not to recognize Him?

John 1:36-37 "and he looked upon Jesus as He walked, and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God!" The two disciples heard him speak and they followed Jesus." WOW! how powerful John's words were...they heard John speak and they followed Jesus...would I have done the same?

John 2

John 2:4 "And Jesus said to her, "woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come." Jesus is speaking to His mother when she told him the wedding had run out of wine. I find it interesting that Jesus says His hour has not yet come and then proceeds to do the miracle anyway. what made Him perform the miracle?

John 2:19-20 "Jesus answered and said to them, 'destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.' The Jews then said, 'it took forty six years to build this temple, and you will raise it up in three days?'" this must have totally puzzled the Jews!

John 3

John 3:14-21 "As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up; so that whoever believes will in Him have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God." this passage is awesome! most of us are familiar with John 3:16, but the verses surrounding are powerful!

^{John 3:27-36 "}John answered and said, 'A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven. You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, 'I am not the Christ,' but, 'I have been sent ahead of Him.'He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice So this joy of mine has been made full. He must increase, but I must decrease. He who comes from above is above all, he who is of the earth is from the earth and speaks of the earth He who comes from heaven is above all. What He has seen and heard, of that He testifies; and no one receives His testimony. He who has received His testimony has set his seal to this, that God is true. For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God; for He gives the Spirit without measure. The Father loves the Son and has given all things into His hand. He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

My prayer is similar to John's, that I would decrease and God would increase...He is above all!

I have been praying so hard lately...I have probably prayed more in the last week than I have prayed in a long time. I have a friend who has been going through some medical issues and this has greatly impacted me and burdened my heart for him. His attitude and faith has inspired and amazed me! At 16, I am not sure if I would have the same reactions and attitude that he has displayed! I can see God in him and at work in him despite all that is going on in his life. I am SO thankful to know that He is in God's hands. God is sovereign and in control of this situation. He has a plan and a purpose...I don't understand it but I trust God knows what He is doing. I am praying for a miracle and for my friend to be completely healed right now! This may or may not be God's plan...that is hard for me to swallow. Why do things like this happen? What is the purpose? I know that it is to bring God glory and all of that, but I am just being honest and sharing my thoughts. I just wish there was an "easy" button to push that would make my friend completely whole and healthy! God, I do trust you and I know that you will work all of this for Your good. Please heal him. Please keep me focused on You, praying and trusting in you. It is not always easy to trust when things are confusing or hard. Please help me when I am weak or sad to turn to you with my fears, feelings, desires. You are in control of this and I know You are doing miracles! Please give him strength and rest and peace and comfort. Awaiting more miracles from You! I love you!

Perspective

I have been thinking about this word the past couple of days. Whenever I hear a friend is engaged I am a mix of emotions. I am truly happy for them while at the same time I feel sad and confused as to why it hasn't happened to me. I want to find the man God has chosen for me, become engaged and then get married. I need to trust in God and His timing for me and my life more. I am content most of the time being single, but occasionally, probably more than I want to admit, I am not. I feel bitter, jealous, frustrated, and many other emotions. I need to keep things in the proper perspective. When others are blessed with "good things" such as an engagement or a boyfriend, I need to remember all the "good things" God has blessed me with. I do not want to be bitter or angry towards God when things are not going the way I think they should. They are going the way God thinks they should. His plan for me is what is best for me. His plan is more than I can ask or even imagine. I need to be more patient and to wait on Him and His timing. This is my prayer and I know it is going to be a journey, but it is one I am willing to take!