Reflections of 2010

WOW! What a year it has been! In January I met up with a good friend, Kirsten, from college and her husband, James Petermann. We had a great time catching up on each others' lives. More on these precious friends in a short bit!

I thought this year would be just like any other...hanging out with friends and family doing the usual...going to movies, out to eat, and myriads of other fun and fabulous things. While I still did all of the "usual" things, somethings happened this year that totally rocked my world!

First, one of my former Sunday school students, started having extreme muscle weakness and in April was admitted to children's hospital for further testing. I went down to visit him and was able to pray with/for him. He was in the hospital for a few days and then was able to go home. It took about a month for the doctors to figure out what the issue was. In May he was diagnosed with LEMS...a very rare disease, and even more rare in children. Well, ever since I found out he was "sick" I have been crying out to God, more than I think I ever had before. I have been praying for his complete healing, praying for increased strength and for his weight gain, among many other things. I know that God hears my every prayer and is answering me, I was hoping it would be sooner than later that He would do a huge miracle and completely heal my friend. Then I read the following quote that his mom posted...

"There are times I can relate to Mary who “hid these things in her heart.” Reflection comes readily on this journey and today’s encounter reminded me of an earlier post regarding an “all or nothing” view of praying where John Piper asks, “In praying for healing should we not be encouraged to break the ‘all or nothing’ habit and pray that today something powerful be done by God in the body of our loved one? And tomorrow something more? And the next day something more? If Jesus touched a man twice, should we not expect to touch the sick often before they are healed?”

“I am finding it helpful to see my prayers as God’s appointed injections of his healing power. And like many antibiotics, the dosage (of prayer) must be continued over time. Each prayer makes its contribution. An antibiotic pill is not an ‘all or nothing’ treatment. You keep on taking them ‘till the bottle is empty. And each prayer carries a measure of divine power—sometimes more, sometimes less, but always effecting ‘something’ good if prayed in faith.”

“So don’t let an ‘all or nothing’ mentality impede your perseverance. Pray for total healing and total salvation. But don’t prejudge God’s timing. Until the total work is done keep praying that God do ‘something’ today to help, and believe that he will. Always pray and don’t lose heart.” (The "All or Nothing" Impediment to Prayer, Piper)"

This spoke to me and shifted my focus to look for all God is doing and has done and not be so focused on what I wished He would do.

Second, my dear, sweet friends Kirsten and James found out that they were expecting their first child due in September. I was overjoyed for them! When they went for the ultrasound to find out if they were having a boy or a girl, they found out something they were not expecting. They found out that their sweet boy would be born with a rare CHD. While their precious babe was being formed in her womb, I was crying out to God that He would heal and fix his broken heart so that he could be born healthy. God answered my prayer, but He did not choose to heal his heart. Precious Ewan was born on September 18, 2010...days later he had open heart surgery. The problems were too much for his body to handle...so after a lot of prayer, one of the toughest decisions was made...Ewan was loving held by his mommy and daddy for his last hours of life and is now in the arms of Jesus. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to loose a child, especially an infant...my heart has been crying out to God in prayers for them daily.

I have cried many, many tears for my precious friends and their families. God has stretched me and increased my faith and trust in Him this year. While I can't say that I would choose those things to happen, I am glad that God allowed these situations to touch my heart and my life...I am forever changed and have become even more dependent upon Him as a result.

My prayers and cries to God will continue for these friends and for other situations that God brings into my life...I do not want to forget how God uses hard times and challenges to draw me closer to Him. To increase my realization of just how much I need Him every moment of every day.

So as I think back over 2010, I am thankful for everything God caused or allowed...all of the fun I have had with my friends and family, as well as all of the struggles. God is good and has been faithful. I know He will not disappoint me in 2011!